Find Out What Motivates the Other Guy When Planning Your Negotiations
2/17/09 at 4:58 PM by Jeanette Nyden, J.D. A discussion between two lawyers I recently listed in on reminded me that (usually) hidden motivations are what drive leverage in negotiations, not personality traits of the person you are negotiating with.
Let me elaborate; I put on my Negotiation Coach hat during the discussion I overheard and here is what I noticed – #1 Guy started by asking #2 Guy what their next move should be at the bargaining table with a counterpart. #2 Guy complained about the personality of their counterpart. #1 Guy agreed with the personality assessment and added a few choice words about the behavior of their counterpart. #2 Guy then added that their counterpart’s requests were completely unreasonable. And on it went for 15 minutes.Ok, maybe these two lawyers were blowing off steam, but they did not get anywhere in planning the next negotiation meeting with their counterpart.
They let the behavior of their counterpart drive their perception of the request that was made. At no time did they discuss what was motivating their counterpart to make that particular request. Their decision about what to negotiate for during the next meeting could have been being based off of the wrong assumptions instead of motivating factors. It is ok to blow off steam regarding someone’s personality (not all personalities click), but when negotiating a deal or agreement, focus on what is motivating the other person and not their personality.
The first question to ask your self is what is DRIVING this behavior, position or tactic – what is motivating the person I am negotiating with? Getting to the bottom of those issues will prove to be worth your while during your next bargaining opportunity.